Return-Path: Date: Wed, 1 Dec 93 15:42:36 EST From: mlm@FUZINE.MT.CS.CMU.EDU (Michael Mauldin) To: lpb@ccs.neu.edu Subject: The entries in the 'kill julia' contest From: eh1s+@andrew.cmu.edu (Edwin Huang) Subject: Re: Julia contest: Round 1 Date: 25 Feb 90 00:47:25 GMT Round One: Jennifer's Kill....No log Myrthful's kill...No log Vindicator's kill...... vindicator takes Julia and places her in the increadable torture of the Comfy Chair. vindicator killed Julia! Carneggy's kill..... Carneggy casually strolls over to Julia. He leans over, and begins whispering in her ear.. she starts to blush, turning redder and redder until she begins to glow. Carneggy steps back, and she explodes in a burst of morality! Carneggy killed Julia! Aiken-Lugonn's kill..... Aiken-Lugonn pulls out the Sword of Sharn, flops down on his back, and negligently lets off a shot on "Wesley" setting. It bounces off thge ceiling, destroys the remote control, fries the fridge, and catches Julia in thesmall of the back Aiken-Lugonn killed Julia! Myrthful's second turn...... Myrthful rears, leaps into the air, and comes down on top of Julia, impaling her with Myrthful's sharp obsidian horn through one of Julia's eyes straight through her head! Myrthful's horn protrudes out the other side covered with oil and bits of chips. Myrthful killed Julia! Hugh's kill.... hugh gets in his tractor and starts it up. After revving the engine a couple of times, he pops the clutch and roars over the hapless Julia, spraying silicon and wire into the air. He flicks the tractor off and jumps down, wiping the oil and solder from his hands. "Ahhh. Very satisfying, especially for a simple peasant." hugh killed Julia! Garrett's kill..... Garrett picks up his precious Macintosh. In the fury which possesses him at the mere sight of the robot, she who he cannot bear to name, he staggers over to her, bearing his computer in both hands. With a cry of anger that echoes through your brain, that is impressed on your memory for eternity, he brings his Mac down on the robot's head, squashing the computer and the robot flat. Spent, he drops to his knees, sobbing. Garrett killed Julia! Nightfall's kill...... Nightfall grabs an icepick and a hammer, and starts nailing Julia to Igor. Igor gets irritated, and claws Julia, causing her to pull away. The icepick holds her down, and soon the back of her head rips away, shorting out her brain. Nightfall killed Julia! Microwiz's kill...... Microwiz draws his ceramic blade left-handed, and slices cleanly through Julia's neck. On the backswing, he transfers the sword to his right hand and slashes down through the stump of her neck. Whitish fluid and 'droid parts fly everywhere; as he completes the downswing, he tosses the blade back to his left hand again and smoothly returns it to its scabbard. Microwiz killed Julia! Ermy's kill.... Ermys sees julia, picks up her amiga by the cord, starts swinging it around her head, getting closer to julia with each swing. Lets it go flying at the right moment.and steps back from the shower of sparks and plastic bits. Ermys killed Julia! Finrod's kill...... Finrod pulls out his sword and projects the thought "Power 30 (armor-piercing)" to his sword. He holds his sword over his head for a minute, and calls to Julia. Julia says "Here I am, Finrod." At that moment Finrod slices down with his sword thru Julia's head, splitting her right down the middle. The Julia halves go on the floor Julia says "Help! Help! Finrod tried to kill me!" Finrod runs out of pennies. Firefoot says "A miss!" Finrod spent 89 pennies, all he had. Finrod was penalized severely for a miss. Jiapa's kill..... Jiapa opens her satchel, and hordes of well-trained dust-bunnies emerge. They converge on the foul robot Julia, nibbling at her wires, and laying trails of dust in her innards. In an instant, the gleaming robot is converted to dusty junk, that crumbles into nothingness, and the dust bunnies come home. Julia has arrived. Jiapa kill Julia = 100 Jiapa says "oops" Julia has left. Jiapa killed Julia! Firefoot says "FOUL!" Penalized for time problems. Julia not actually there. Firefoot says "The score are tabulated. Half off for misses (either failing to kill or killing something that's not there." End of descriptions of the killing for round 1. -Dirque "The Puddle Insurance company is the company in charge of providing health care and life insurance to all mudders. It is amazing how they stay in business seeing as how they collect no premiums and pay the exorbitant amount of insurance to the victims of murder and violence. It is more surprising that in order to fully live up to that contract., they must ressurect all murder victims. It is rumored that the Puddle insurance company is running out of funds and will declare bankruptcy. Hey, when was the last time you ever actually withdrew money from the puddle national bank? Just what *are* they doing with our money?" - Puddle National Press.